Home » Parenting Q&A

Why do people blame parents for every little thing?

21 November 2009 22 Responses

A Parent asks, I’ve noticed in this forum a lot that everyone blames problems on the parents. It’s really starting to get to me. I can’t imagine what all my parents could be to “blame” for.

Why is our first reaction to always blame parents for a teen’s or child’s behavior? I know it’s the first thing that comes to mind but why don’t we ever think of all the influences in a child’s life before placing blame on one particular thing.

What behavior do you think parents couldn’t be blamed for?

I’m just curious. Thanks!

22 Responses »

  • skizzle-d-wizzle said:


    Because we learn from out parents–and either its negative things such as being irresponsible or whatever the case is it is still learned–it can be positive things too such as being a clean freak–some grown children have spouses that complain about that and say its because their Mom or Dad is like that–its patterned

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • sterces518255 said:


    This all depends. If a kid robs a bank, and his dad is a crack-head, then obviously his parents would be to blame. If he lived in a nice rich neighborhood and robbed a bank with nice parents, there were probably other factors (friends, drugs, etc.)

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • 7LOVETRUTH7 said:


    Your Parents brought you in to this world. remember this “adversity is mother of adventure”!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • me said:


    Even though you are right in the fact that society and the Media can influence children in a very negative way, it is up to the parents to help the child to distinguish reality from fantasy. Or that the things that people do on TV (or what they hear in music) is not how they should act.
    It is the parents responsibility to nurture a child to be a good member of society. Unfortunately alot of parents aren’t qualified to raise ants, yet alone children.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • F.A.Q. said:


    What behavior do you think parents couldn’t be blamed for?

    Well, sexual behavior, of course. You might could blame them for the relationship aspect. But unless parents are sexually obusive or just sicko, children don’t see what goes on in their parents bedroom.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • goldensparkler61 said:


    I think in general people are looking for other people to blame. No one wants to take responsibility for themselves so lets blame the parents.

    There is no behavior you can blame a parent for if the parents are trying to correct the child. It is a learning process as children grow up and they all make mistakes along the way.

    OK with that said, if a child grows up feeling unloved or not getting enough attention they will seek attention anyway they can get it. What is the right amount of love and attention? Who knows? I believe that to be the problem.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • texas_boone said:


    Discipline
    Respect
    Manners

    Where else is a child to learn these things if not from the parent?
    Granted, there are children that have behavior issues that the parents cannot control. But those are the exception, not the rule.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • mommyof4 said:


    I think there is definitely a time and place where a parent is to blame. I am a stay at home mom with 2 young children. When they act out by swearing then I am to blame. They aren’t in day care and they aren’t consistently around other kids. Behavior issues in small children are sometimes parents faults as well. If a child wines and cries for a toy and the mom says no but eventually gives in to “shut the kid up” then that is the parents fault. That is teaching that if you act out you will be rewarded. I don’t have school aged children so I haven’t experienced all of that yet. I do think it is important for parents to be involved with every aspect of a child’s life. If a child comes home from school acting inappropriately I will correct that behavior.

    I can blame my parents for having very low self esteem. I was never told “good job”. It was always, “you should have done better” but that’s a whole other topic. I know as a teen I was very sheltered. I wasn’t even allowed in sports or anything. I was to go to school and then home…Period. Nothing more. When I finally went away to college, I acted out. I was out of control and I do feel my parents were responsible for that.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • chrissy said:


    You said it yourself, we have to think of the influences on the child’s life. Because parents generally have the biggest influence. They teach the kids morals, values, behavior, have the most control over them, and are legally responsible for them.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • lola1 said:


    regardless of what a child is exposed to with their friends it seems that until a child grows upo they are the parents responsibilty there fore should make sure that they know where the child is what the child is or might be doing and have a more open communication level with the child to encourage them to open up and trust them with the things they are diong in their lives

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • JenF said:


    Parents can’t be blamed for a child with addictions. It has been proven that addictions such as drugs and alcohol stems from a chemical imbalance in the body and therefore makes the body “allergic” to the drugs or alcohol. But a lot of parents are frowned upon when their children are adiicts or alcoholics.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • molly t said:


    i think that people blame parents because they feel the need to blame someone. Guess who is on the list first…. parents.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • Beth E said:


    In my opinion…just my opinion…if a teenager is doing something wrong, it’s because that teenager CHOSE to do it. If a child is only 4 years old, then that’s different. They don’t understand the action vs. consequence rule in life. Parents are ultimately responsible for 100% of the child until they are old enough to know the difference. Every child is different, so there’s no magic number. However, most people, once they’ve reached “teendom” are old enough to understand the difference between right and wrong, and they know that if they do something, consequence is sure to follow…whether bad or good. When my children each turn the age of knowing this difference, I’m hopeful that the tools and knowledge I’ve instilled in them will be enough. However, if when either one of my children are say…age 16…and decide to do something really stupid, how in the world is that my fault? I can’t be with my kids 24/7, 365, for the rest of their lives! No parent can. For anyone to automatically blame a parent, for something that their kid did…their kid that is old enough to know better…that’s just wrong. Again…this is all my opinion. I didn’t say it’s law or fact…it’s simply how I feel.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Red said:


    Parents are the most obvious people to blame. Usually, unfortunatley, it’s also true. As a teacher, I found myself blaming parents often. As a parent myself, I’m sure my child’s teacher sometimes does the same when he acts out. More often than not, as parents, we ARE to blame. But, then again, parenting is hard & no one is perfect…

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • YARO said:


    Unfortunately we carry the burden of our childrens behavior….I dont blame any parent. Parenting is really hard and as long as they’re doing their best, which is what Im doing, then your an awesome parent and kick butt lol

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • robedzombiesoul said:


    Because it’s the mother’s job to be home raising the children not off God know’s where working. Why do you think all these teens are becoming criminals and getting pregnant and having sex? It’s because they’re being raised by strangers and not by their mothers.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • ehsanbanat said:


    It is just the way it is………………

    Laying the blame on someone who could deal with the outcome somehow is far better than not laying the blame on anybody at all, or laying the blame on Minors themselves….

    Someone has got to take the blame; otherwise who to blame… and how to straighten things out, or how to develop a methodology in life….

    When parents die…They are not to be blamed for it….. That’s the only time people will not blame them for it….

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • CityGirl_loveselvis said:


    In defense to those that first blame the parents: parents are the core educators of our children, we teach and raise them, Our actions are copied by our children, our communication with our children make all the difference. Although, I am understanding to the working and single parents that are not able to be there for their children and they would like to be. Also, there are many parents that became parents as children and thought it was a very cool concept and raise their children as they are learning from friends. So I hope this helped answer your questions and realize that parents are a major factor to our children’s behavior.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • ambeemapoopoo said:


    Well I can totally see where you are coming from and I can also see that at times the blame should be placed more upon the individual than the parents, but there is also the fact that these are the people that raised that individual. I mean when I child is rebelling, it is the parents responsibility to reguide them in the right direction. If parents fail in doing so and the child continues rebelling than the blame is the parents.

    Yet if you are talking about an individual that is an adult, than the blame should be more on them than their parents. As an adult you should realize right from wrong and in turn be able to control your own actions, even if your parents were not the best.

    Besides all of this we have to remember that most parents are trying to do the best that they can for their children.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • jenay4867 said:


    we blame our parents for every little thing because they are always there. they are the ones trying to keep us safe and out of trouble and we dont realize that. so we are blaming them or that. it used to be that children learn form their parents. but now the world is so influenced by tv and movies and politics and such, that its just so easy to blame it on our parents. hope that helps a little

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • abby said:


    Parents have limited time building the foundation of their kids’ behavior. Teens are out of control because discipline was not implemented long time ago. Parents chose to have those kids. Having kids is a package deal. Yes they are responsible for the most part.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • sandy e said:


    because parents are supposed to guide you the right way, but ultimately they are responsible for their own behavior.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Leave your response!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.