Has your stepson ever been tested for a learning disability such as dyslexia or a language based learning disorder? I also have to admit to some confusion about your question, because most 11 year old kids I know aren’t in high school unless they are exceptionally gifted students. Most of the time, when a student is eleven, he or she is usually only in the 6th grade. Other things your son needs to be evaluated for include ADHD and depression, which can strike kids as young as 5. How long has it been since he last had a thorough medical and psychatric workup done? His problems could very well be due to a medical issue, or possibly to boredom or frustration if he’s gifted. You don’t mention where he is academically in your question in terms of is he ahead or behind, so I am not sure what else to tell you on that front.

Talking back is often a sign of disrespect, yes, but since this boy is growing up in a blended family, he sounds like he has some impulse control and anger issues he needs to work through. Is it possible that there also is something going on at school which could be causing problems, such as is he being bullied by other kids? Bullying can take multiple forms, and he is at the age where it often really starts to become a serious problem. Kids who get bullied will often develop a bad attitude in self defense, as a way of warding people off and forcing them to keep their distance. Many times, such kids will also become loners, because it’s easier for them to stay alone. But this comes at a price- such kids are often very lonely, and their loneliness and frustration at being treated badly will spill over into other parts of their lives. Could any of this apply to your stepson? This business of his writing stories saying how he wishes he’d never been born is disturbing by itself, because it is a sign of stress, and possibly, depression or even suicidal thinking. That’s another reason why he needs to be evaluated medically- if he is suffering from depression, he may need to be on some medication for it, and he may also need other treatments. Take some time and think for a while and ask yourself some questions about what’s going on in your stepson’s life before you make any more decisions about what to do. Meanwhile, however, I would definitely make an appointment for a medical checkup. Good luck, and I hope you can help him.