What do you think of daycare?
A Parent asks, Ok, So my daughter is 3 and she has never been in daycare.
I enjoy looking after her and think its good for her to have the first few years of her life at home with me.
But alot of people have told me she is in desperate need of daycare, as she is not a big fan of other children shes happy to play by herself, but she has some issues with sharing.
She starts school the year after next, so i was going to wait untill the end of this year and put her in preschool to get her ready for it.
So many people are telling me it is wrong to keep her at home, rather then in daycare where she can learn from other kids. Am i depriving her from not putting her in daycare?
My parents always told me its best for mums to look after their kids for the first five years?
Related posts:
Usually the people telling you your kid needs daycare is someone that throws their own kid in with a bunch of strangers to look after them all day. I do not agree with putting kids in daycare, I think it is a bad idea. Kids do need their parents, not some stranger that is trying to deal with a pile of kids at once, therefore, your daughter gets no one on one time. If you would like to get your daughter to meet other kids take her to a playgroup, that way she can play with other kids and you can meet other moms. You didn’t have your daughter to let strangers look after her did you? Do what you want, not what other people say you need to do.
DAYCARE IS A STOREROOM FOR KIDS. YOUR DOING THE RIGHT THING. DON’T WORRY. MOST KIDS WEREN’T DAY CARED YEARS AGO AND THEY TURNED OUT FINE, KIDS LEARN HOW TO ADJUST JUST LIKE WE DO TO THEIR SURROUNDINGS. IF YOUR CHILD DON’T SHARE, SO WHAT, SHE WILL GROW OUT OF IT BECAUSE SHE WILL LEARN ALONG THE WAY THAT WE SHARE. GOOD LUCK
It is absolutely NOT detrimental to her to keep her at home. Daycare has become the norm, and people think that it’s the way things are supposed to be. Nope, sorry, for hundreds of years mothers have been caring for their children in their own homes. Yes, it is important for your child to play with other children, but she’ll have the rest of her school career to do so. It’s hard to find a child who can entertain herself these days, and teachers will love you for that! Get her involved with a small play group or church group for tots once a week or so. Kindergarten was supposed to get your child ready for school. It’s a sad day when you have to get your child “ready” for kindergarten!
wow! finally!!!! i have never met sumone with the exact parenting style and plan! woohoo!!! stick to ur guns, my son is the same! they dont NEED day care as such, just positive encouragement. and at least SUM interaction with other children, whether its at the park or wih cousins etc, basic interaction is better than none. daycare isnt for everyone. dont feel bad or anything u sound like a great mum thinking for her child, not wats gunna make her look like super mum to society. on the other hand, theres nothing wrong with having sum time to urself… not sumthing i do, but alot of people need it…
I agree with your parents. my sister and I differ 10 years. she was in daycare, and i was not. well, it is not that comman, but i will never put my child in daycare. i think it is best to wait for pre school.
to get more to the point, my sister was in daycare from an early age, but only aged 3, we realised that she was being molested at daycare. therefore i will never trust daycare where there is only one or 2 adults present. pre school has teachers who commune with the children regularly which decreases the chances of this happening.
only my personal opinion!
If you are planning on putting her into a preschool program than I wouldn’t worry about daycare also. In my opinion a child does need to be around other children but she would get that from preschool. I do home daycare and I just started a 3 year old that has never been with anyone other then her mom,and you can definately tell that she hasn’t been around anyone else. She will spend a lot of her day by herself just sitting on the floor. Yesterday, I had all the other kids sitting and painting while this little girl went and sat away from all the kids and started crying for her mom. I was not trying to put anyone down for staying home with their children and if that is what they feel is right, I was just trying to point out that in some cases it causes more drama when that child does start school as they are always used to having mommy there all the time.
I would say that if you don’t want to get her into an actual daycare program, then I would maybe get some other parents together and start like a small mommy’s day out type program where you take turns watching the group of children while the other parents are out. That way your daughter does get some social skills and learns how to play with other children and sharing too. Or you could just have play dates where you invite other children over to play with her, this way she is still in your care at all times, If that is was one of the main concerns(leaving her elsewhere).
It sounds as if she could use some time with other children but that is possible without sending her to day care. Many communities have preschool settings for children her age. Check with your local school district. Day care is for children whose moms work and have to have someone to care for the kids not children who have Mom’s at home. If you are lower income then Head Start has programs for you. Or start a play group at your home – find several other children (boys and girls) and do it your self or with other Mom’s help. Two days a week is good to start. All three year olds have issues with sharing if they are only children – work with her to share her toys and games.
No you are not depriving her but maybe it is time for her to have some time with other kids. Any program that is for just two or three afternoons or mornings will work. It doesnt have to be day care where they have certain number of hours you have to bring the child or pay for the hours anyway.
Shame on those people for making you feel badly about your daughter not being taken care of by strangers! You are the best person to take care of your daughter. You are doing a fantastic job.
She will have plenty of time to learn how to share.
I have a 2 year old and a soon to be 5 month old that I also prefer to watch rather than put in day care.
Their father and I work different times so that one of us is always home. I think that it is a personal need and preference.
I believe that it saves us a lot of money by utilizing our selves, and as a parent, of course we can help our child more than just sticking him in and letting some person watch him. We do more in our house than maybe a day care might. Plus the fact that its individual attention is a big plus.
There are a lot of pros and cons to day care, but ultimatly as the parent you should do what feels right to you, so if you want to wait to put her in preschool, go with that. Don’t let other people guilt you into it.
If shes not fan of other kids, big deal. Some kids are not and some are, its not a reason to just stick her in daycare.
You are not depriving her by not having her in daycare.
If you want to help her expose her to more children. Look for parks with other kids her age, and start playing there more. Or you could find other parents with children around her age and set up play dates.
Personally, I think you are doing your child a service by not just sticking her in day care.
Children do need to learn social skills but that doesn’t mean they “need” daycare. The problem with society today is people not spending time with their kids. You sound like caring mom and maybe you just need to arrange some playtime with family or friends with young children.
Trust no one! My cousin had her little girl in a popular day care in her town. One day she got a call saying that her little girl had crawled into the kitchen, got under the cabinet, and got her head stuck between the sink pipes! They were not even watching close enough to know that a baby got into a kitchen cabinet! I suggest finding a regular person to babysit. Someone that is not watching 30 kids!
I vote NO for daycare. I worked in one, and it happened to be one of the most top rated in the state, but I still wouldn’t put my kid there. Yes, the kids have lots of other kids to play with, but they also have lots of germs to come into contact with. All the kids in the daycare were constantly sick. It was like a sick rotation, they took turns. And so did the workers. And this was true even though we disinfected toys/chairs/beds daily. Didn’t seem to matter. Also, most states have a ratio for how many kids per worker each room can have. It’s different for infants, toddlers, elem. But our daycare did even better. For example, I worked in the infant room. The state max ratio was 6babies:1worker. Our policy was 3:1. But that’s still not good enough in my opinion. Basically, it’s near impossible to give 3 babies attention all at once. Especially if they’re not to the crawling stage. Most times, the kid doesn’t get attention unless it has a specific need, like diapering, feeding. Sometimes not even when they’re crying. A few people I worked with said that so and so was just spoiled and didn’t need picked up. I think they just train kids that crying isn’t going to get them anywhere, which is so wrong. Crying is a natural instinct and there’s a reason for it. Also, as far as your child’s development? Comparing the kids I have known that go to daycare regularly, and the kids who don’t…the kids who have devoted parents who interact and talk with them regularly are much better off and more developed as far as speech etc. That’s just the facts. You can teach your child everything and a whole lot more than they will learn at any daycare.
I was a SAHM. I put my girls in preschool one year before they actually started school so they could have the interaction and socialization with other kids. It was 2 mornings a week. They loved it and I enjoyed the free time I had.
I have a 2 year old. She is not an only child but her sibs are much older (13 and 14) She has no cousins that are her age and My friends are all either childless or have children that are much older. I struggle with the same concerns. My baby is rather selfish, does not like to share, and plays by herself quite well. I have thought about daycare for socialization, but still have problems with it. My husband and I have worked very hard to stay home with her. We work opposite shifts, and since I have to work, I work the bare minimum hours to maintain insurance. Day care is sometimes a necessary evil, and some are great. But being home with you is where your child wants to be. You know you have your childs best intrests in mind and that she is your priority. Not alway so for a stranger. I am sure most daycare providers are wonderful, but if I dont have to I wouldnt want to take the slimmest chance of my child being exposed to a “bad apple” In my opinion one does not have to look much farther than the change in society over the past 30 years to see the effect of children raised by daycare.
Just an added note, at our 2 year well baby check, the pediatrician was amazed at the vocabulary and clarity of my daughters speech. She can count to 10, is starting to recongnize colors, recognizes many letters, and can spell the first 5 letters of her first name ( it has 8 letters) and she has already begun to memorize pages of books. I dont think she would have fared any better in daycare, I think this is because she has been home with her parents who are 100% invested in her development!! My advice to you would be to enjoy the time you are blessed to spend with her!! The socialization will come when she starts school!!
By not putting your child in daycare, you are depriving her of important things like:
1. Sickness
2. Parental neglect
3. Learning bad habits from being in an artificial all-child environment (like learning that it’s OK to play with anything, or open any drawer, etc..)
4. Learning all the bad habits from other neglected kids
5. The “biter” (there is always one!)
6. Not learning to read
Wait, did I say depriving her of? I meant protecting her from. My bad. Listen to your parents, daycare sucks and anyone who puts their kids in daycare doesn’t care as much about them as you do your daughter. Keep her home, teach her. It’s good for her to have playtime with other kids (non-daycare kids wherever possible), but keep in mind that kids ultimately learn how to behave in the world from watching adults. Most things learned from being with other kids under poor adult supervision have to be unlearned. The idea that daycare teaches kids necessary socialization is pure BS that daycare parents tell each other to justify abandoning their kids to a stranger all day.
I have been both a stay at home mom and kept my kids home with me and a working mom where my kids had to go to daycare. Let me tell you, I am once again a stay at home mom, because of the way my kids were treated at daycares. I have had horrible experiences with them. Yes, my 4 year old learned alot from them but it you are willing, they can learn the same from you at home. Whatever you decide, make sure you have the daycare checked out very well. Talk to other moms that use the daycare, that will be a more reliable source than the inspections. I have seen first hand how daycares get around avoiding problems at inspection time even though they are there. Pray about it and you will find the right decision.
I stayed at home with my son until he was too. He didn’t have any other children to interact with and his energy was driving me crazy. So I put him in a day care and I went to work. I’ve had a few problems with finding good day care providers. He went to at home day cares at first, but he is in a preschool now and he loves it. He gets to play with kids. he doesn’t learn as much as he did when he was home with me, but he’s learning socializing skills. That’s something that you can’t learn at home with mommy.
Wow, there are a lot of daycare haters here. In my opinion, a child doesn’t “need” one over the other– both have their advantages and disadvantages.
My nephew goes to daycare and he absolutely loves it. He is always telling me things he has learned there and all the exciting little field trips they’ve made. He is a happy, social, intelligent boy and I believe daycare AND his parents have brought him these traits. He gets social time at daycare, then individual time with his parents. On the other hand, I have a friend who only allows herself and her mother to watch her daughter and it has led to difficulties. Her daughter throws tantrums and practically has a nervous breakdown if she’s around strangers. That is not healthy.
You need to find a balance that works. Make sure the child gets your individual attention as well as group social interaction. Contrary to what people have been saying here, no, it is not “normal” or “natural” to raise your child only in your home. That phenomena is only from the past couple centuries. Children are meant to be raised in their communities. It’s cliche, but I totally believe it takes a “village to raise a child.”
Edit: Also, it depends on what daycare you choose. My nephew attends a church daycare and they are very attentive to the children, clean, and organized. In choosing a daycare remember you pay what you get for– it is worth it to spend more on your child to ensure he or she is having a worthwhile experience. Oh, and one good sign of a daycare? If they *encourage* drop-ins and visits, then you know they are not hiding anything.
Well heres what I know…. I know that from the day my daughter was born, I was a single parent, so I had no option. When she was seven weeks old, I had to take her to a babysitter, and then when she was 1.5 years old, I put her in Daycare. She LOVES daycare, and is a very social child. She loves the structure that daycare provides, and has learned more than I would have ever imagined. She is four and can read small words. I know that I dont regret her being in daycare for one minute, and know that when she starts kindergarten, she will be more than ready. Even if you only put her in part-time, I think you will learn that she will love playing with other kids, and learning new stuff. I love daycare, and I think, that people dont realize that your kids need a break from you, just as much as you need a break from them. Just think. If you put her in daycare for four hours a day, she would get to interact and learn, and share, and you could get your house clean, and arrands ran, and even go to lunch with a friend. I love daycare. I love the way my daughter has grown, and become independant, and we still spend PLENTY of time together, doing fun things, and we can, becuase we have time to miss one another. Her daycare even has a window where she cant see out, but I can see in, and so I can check on her anytime i want, and make sure she is okay. Just think, if you dont put her in daycare, Kindergarten is going to be really hard on her.
Sorry, just my personal opinion
I stayed at home with my son until he could walk and talk. My husband and I then decided that daycare was a good choice for our son. He will be turning 4 next month and he absolutely loves “school” as he calls it.
There are alot of people here bashing mothers who choose not to stay at home and some are making ignorant comments. There are no biters in my child’s daycare, he is NOT sick all the time (he’s as healthy as he can be), there is a 5 to 1 teacher/child ratio (so it’s not 1 woman watching 30 kids!), he gets plenty of one on one time, and the caretakers and administrators are very caring people.
AND, on top of all that- my son is already reading, writing, has lots of friends, shares well, plays well, is outgoing, and confident. Of course these are things that his father and I teach and instill in him at home but daycare is a POSITIVE reinforcement of the values we teach him at home!
It was not easy for me to put my son in daycare- of course I worried about whether or not is was the right move. And it’s not easy not being able to see there every move. Something that makes it easier for me is that at his daycare there are cameras in every room and even outside so you can see your child on a secure closed circuit website. I can watch him at story time, in the lunch room, when he’s in the water park, and even when he’s taking a nap!
That said, if you enjoy caring for your child at home then that is whats best for you. If you are really concearned about you child’s social development you should just make an extra effort to expose her to other children her age.
Forget daycare and find a playgroup. This way you can be with your child and both you and your child can make friends.
I agree with the first answerer.
Usually these opinionated parents are the ones that dump their kids off at 7am and pick them up at 6pm. They get to spend 3 hours with their child before putting him to bed…basically the daycare is raising their children!
I agree that being at home with mom and the family is very important, especially during the first years of life. That is when she will basically be learning how to love, trust and feel secure. I’d really love to see a comparison study with the full time day care kids vs the stay at home/limited day care kids when they turn 18…or even 25. Who’s more stable? Who has more going for them in life? Who has anger/trust issues?
I think that you should try easing her in to daycare slowly. My daughter goes once or twice a week for just a few hours. Like your daughter, my daughter is content playing by herself but also has issues sharing…being exposed to the other children gives her a chance to develop more socially but without overdoing it.
She also isn’t going to a regular day-care. I pay the extra fees to have her in a school. To me, the extra fees guarantee my child is surrounded with other like-minded parents who actually care about their children (and aren’t just dumping them off). I don’t have to worry about her coming home cursing, hitting or saying things she shouldn’t because the other parents there don’t expose their toddlers to things they shouldn’t be exposed to…they actually care, they aren’t out taking their 2-3 year olds to see fad movies that were made for 13-16+ year olds…etc. JMO
Good luck
I WOULD RECCOMEND GIVING YOURSELF SOME FREETIME AT A GYM/ FITNESS CLUB AT PUT YOUR LITTLE ONE IN FOR LIKE 2 HOURS MAYBE 2-3 TIMES A WEEK, ITS USUALLY FAIRLY CHEEP AND YOU WILL BE THERE IF SOMETHING HAPPENS, SHE WILL GET USED TO NEW SITUATIONS AND OTHER PEOPLE, YOU DONT WANT KINDERGARTEN TO BE TERRIBLE FOR HER. AFTERWARDS TAKE HER SWIMMING OR SOMETHING, MAKE IT INTO A FUN THING THAT SHE GETS TO DO
Acacia ridge YMCA day care is one of the worst i have delt with kids left to play by them self the staff are retarted and should not be looking after kids at all i picked my boy up every day with a shity bum and just has not been looked after
Leave your response!
Categories
Archives
We Suggest
Recent Posts
Most Commented
Recent Comments