How would you explain breastfeeding to a 4 year old?
19 November 2009
14 Responses
A Parent asks, I have a 4 yr old son and I am pregnant and planning to breastfeed. Eventually, no matter how much I try to stay in another room, he will “catch” me breastfeeding the baby. I think I should explain whats going on ahead of time so he isn’t too confused but I have no idea how.
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Just explain it to him. Even though he is young, he will have to learn. At four, I don’t know his personality of course, but he probably will not think it “icky” but accept it as part of life.
As a 4 year old I think he should know the body parts both male and female and that they are private. But you should just tell him mommy’s breasts are how the baby gets fed. Maybe a picture from a book or magazine will help since they are mostly covered in pictures. A simple short answer will do.
Tell them that when moms have babies they make milk in the breasts that the babies have to drink in order to get bigger.
Tell him your feeding the baby, and that is how baby’s eat to get big and strong
Why should you have to stay in the other room? It is a natural way to feed your baby, and I believe more mothers need to do it. Just tell him you are feeding his brother or sister, whatever the case may be, just like any animal would feed their babies. (though I don’t believe we are animals) It is just the way God made females to feed their babies. He may not understand it, but try to explain in within a four year old’s comprehension.
Tell him that this is how the baby eats and that when he was a baby he used to eat the same way. He will only be shocked by it the first few times. Don’t hide it from him.
There is no need for him to ‘catch’ you. My son is 2 years old and he still nurses. He has seen my breasts and me totally naked so many times that I have lost count (when Daddy works late and I have to work early I need to take my shower and leave the door open so he does not get scared).
Let him watch you breastfeed so he knows that it is the baby getting food. If you fed him this way then you can share that with him too, how he was the same way and that it is how baby’s eat.
That way he will feel that is a natural process and not:
1. A secret that you are keeping from him
2.Feel that you are doing something wrong if you need to do it behind closed doors.
Kids are smart, a lot smarter than we give them credit for. Because of the barrier in language he may understand but not be able to fully coherently express that yet. But chances are he comprehends what you are explaining, just not be able to explain it back to you.
My 2 year old shocks me when I ask him for something he go and gets EXACTLY what I asked for. If I tell him to be ‘nice’ or gentle he behaves that way.
Your son will ‘get it’
There is nothing wrong with him seeing what breasts are primarily designed for!
Even if I have a son who ends up being 10 or so and I have another baby, I will proudly nurse in front of him. It’s actually quite beneficial for a young man to grow up realizing that women are more than sexual objects, but that they are all potential mothers who deserve to be treated as well as he treats HIS mom!
Don’t make a fuss about it either way, just sit down and nurse where you are when the baby arrives. He will likely be curious, at least for a bit, and all you need to do is say “The baby is eating. Mommy makes milk.” There are books that show all mammals nursing their young, so maybe you can buy him one.
Good luck honey!
You’re not doing anything wrong and shouldn’t have to hide it. It’s a natural part of life. Just let him know that you’re feeding the baby like you did him because babies need special nourishment that they can only get from their mothers milk. If you explain it to him now and help him to see it as something natural healthy and loving then he won’t be having issues later as a man when his wife is feeding their children. In some places children are nursed well into toddlerhood. It’s your personal choice whether or not you nurse but I think it’s a wonderful thing that should be known for what it is, an act of bonding and love with no shame or perversion involved.
Well, i am guessing that he will be taught women and male body parts so i guess you could say that mommys breasts are the way you feed the baby and without that he won’t have food because hes too young for big kid food.
“This is where food for the baby comes from. You are a big boy so you get your food from the kitchen!”
I wouldn’t try to hide it. He will be curious and you can just tell him thats the way babies eat. They only can drink special milk from mommy. Its just a fact and he’ll accept it as such. I explained it to my 18 month old that way and told her when she was little she ate like that too. I had to add in the ” babies only drink special milk form mommy” part because she kept trying to “share” her beverages with brother
. But all you really need to say is that is how mommies feed babies. I dont think you really need to explain it ahead of time, Just explain when it comes up.
just say that this is how your baby gets its food because he/she doesnt have any teeth, and once he/she gets their teeth, they will start to eat big boy/girl food just like you.
Kids are pretty OK with this type of thing and the simplest explanation is the best way to get things across. The more you explain it, the more confused they will be. You don’t need to go into detail unless he asks a lot about it, then you can talk about how animals get their food and some mummy animals give their babies milk too.
I would not hide it. It is natural and the more you tried to hide it…the more problems it might cause.
Try reading him a book like “What Baby Needs” by Dr. Sears. Among other things, it shows the mother breastfeeding and talks about how a baby breastfeeds to get milk.
You can also tell him what a big helper he can be when the baby comes and you stop to breastfeed. Kids at his age love to feel big and helpful and probably CAN help a lot when the baby comes by fetching supplies or entertaining the baby so you can do things like take a shower or make dinner!
Good luck!
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