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is it safe to have anal sex just after three weeks of giving birth?

8 March 2010 5 Responses

A Parent asks, i gave birth three weeks ago with no complications. no stitches and no tears it was a normal vaginal delivery so i was wondering do i have to wait for my six week check up to have anal sex or can i do it now

5 Responses »

  • Aeson's Mommy said:


    My Dr told me at least 6 wks.

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  • mummy_mee said:


    all doctors say 6weeks but i had sex the day after my son was born for comfort as he was born very premature and was unsure if he would survive or not, anyways after that we had sex regularly they said it was more the pain and risk of infection that the tell you to wait but if you left ready and didn’t have stitches then it was okay to have sex as soon as you wished.

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  • habrooke said:


    I would think its fine since those two things aren’t connected, but that’s just my opinion.

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  • Mari R said:


    We waited about 2 wks after my son was born to have sex. It was pretty uncomfortable because he could only go so far. So we’ve been sticking to anal sex until I go to my 6 week app.

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  • Jodi said:


    In the case of six weeks – it exists because that’s how long the uterus generally takes to go back to it’s pre-pregnancy size. It’s a one size fits all approach – that doesn’t fit most women – as there are women like yourself that want to have sex before that point and others who don’t want to have sex for many months afterwards. If you have stopped bleeding and no longer have any sort of lochia (the discharge after birth) then the risk of infection would be minimal. If you are ready to go now … and you’re exclusively breastfeeding there is no reason to abstain.

    ON the topic of anal sex – An Iranian research paper presented at a conference on Fertility and Sterility in 2002 found that there was an increase in the number of couples having anal sex after the birth of a baby … so it’s not uncommon for couples to be contemplating this as an alternative to penetrative vaginal sex after birth.

    Physically there is no reason why a couple cannot have anal sex almost immediately after sex, if that’s something they both want. You write that you’ve had no stitches or tears. It’s important to be aware though, that the anal tissues in a vaginal birth flare outwards as part of the birthing process and depending on how long ago a woman has birthed, these tissues will still be bruised, swollen and hyper sensitive. Consider (women) how it felt to have your first bowel movement after birth? What would anal sex feel like?

    As a couple you need to discuss your motivations to have anal sex. Are you contemplating anal sex after birth:

    * to satisfy a partner’s need/desire for sex
    * to satisfy your need/desire for sex
    * or are you both wanting to have sex again

    A couple then needs to decide if it’s sex that they are really both desiring or if it’s the intimacy and closeness of sex that they are hungry for. If it’s intimacy and closeness there are othe ways to emulate this without penetrative sex or sexual contact if one of you is not comfortable with the idea of either vaginal or anal sex. Many woman and men wrongly equate sexual touch and contact with intimacy and love, and feel that they are being rejected if they are denied the opportunity to have sex with their partner.
    It’s interesting to note that many couples also contemplate anal sex as an alternative to vaginal sex for contraceptive reasons.

    If you decide that anal sex after birth is something that you both want and need, be gentle on a woman’s body and ensure that there is plenty of good quality, water based lubricatant and that the man is gentle – the woman is still recovering from birth! All the tissues in this area have thinned and are hypersensitive.

    And also agree to communicate as a couple before you try that it’s OK to try but its also OK to change you mind, and to be respectful of each other’s wishes if this is the case.

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