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What Is The “congratulations” Etiquette For Premature Babies?

14 October 2009 8 Responses

A Parent asks, I have a friend who just had premature twin girls. One weighs 1lb 13 oz, the other 1lb 9 1/4oz. They are on oxygen but breathing on their own. My husband and I want to call or send flowers, something, but we are unsure what to say to them. “Congratulations” seems unfeeling towards the seriousness of the girls situation but “we are here if you need anything” seems too much like we are sending sympathy their way. Any suggestions welcome.

What Is The "congratulations" Etiquette For Premature Babies?, 8.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating

8 Responses »

  • zekemari said:


    I would give them congratulations as they are indeed the parents of 2 beautiful babies, also give them your best wishes and offer them your help in any way. My second baby died during birth and this was a great shock to everyone, no one knew what to say so said nothing, How I would have loved some baby cards to validate that he had been born and not just ignored as if he hadn’t existed.

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  • chelle76 said:


    Go to the hospital and scope out there needs, they will not be thinking of things “they” need. Only of the babies. They will be so crazy busy with doctors, nurses, and family and calls they will forget “they” need to eat. Bring a caraffe of juice instead of coffee, snacks they can woof down between nurses, a puzzle book for down time, comfortable blanket and small travel pillow instead of hospital garb. Think of things you would NEED if you were there and offer that. Give them your love, and care for them because they will be too busy caring for the twins. Give them gift certificates to local restaraunts, right there on the street, so they don’t have to go far but maybe they’ll get out of the hospital for a few minutes in a few days. Hope this helps, I know what I need in a crisis, i usually do that……….God’s blessings on those girls and their parents.

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  • cino_bea said:


    I’d probably say something like “Congratulations on your little miracles!” I think that acknowledges that the babies came into the world a little precariously but doesn’t overlook that the birth is still a joyous event to be celebrated. I bet the parents look at them as exactly that, miracles.

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  • LilyRT said:


    You sound like a very good friend. If she is staying at the hospital, maybe a care package for the parents? Shampoo, soap, stuff they need but probably aren’t thinking of to help them get through the hospital stay.

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  • chelebee said:


    You could say both “congratulations” and “we are here if you need anything.” The latter is not an offer of sympathy but rather an offer of support.
    Hopefully, a year from now when the girls are running around energetically and tearing up the place, the parents will call you on this (“you said you were here if we needed anything; can you babysit next Saturday?”). Best wishes to all involved, especially you when you babysit and they tear up *your* place. 8-)

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  • amy02 said:


    I would go ahead & send flowers saying “congratulations” as they did indeed just give birth to 2 beautiful little girls. Follow with a phone call (even leaving a message on the answering machine) saying if you need anything (transporation back & forth to the hospital after dad goes back to work, a meal prepared, etc) to call. It is truly a difficult situation but the babies may pull thru just fine & you don’t want the parents to miss the “congratulations” just because the babies were premature.

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  • dmommab@ said:


    go hug their mother. Tell her you are so gald that she and the babies are in as good a shape as they are. And do tell her how beautiful they are and do tell her that you are there if she needs you.

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  • alyce g said:


    Yeah send a congratulations card. The babies will be fine I had a premature son he was 2lb and 10oz and he is fine now.

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