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Step-parent?

19 October 2009 15 Responses

A Parent asks, Not that the bio parents of my step-son (who’s 2 BTW) are bad but they both feed him really unhealthy food all the time (chicken fingers, fries, hot dogs, mac’n'cheese, PB’n'J). When I try to give him healthier foods my partner tell me that he’s “too young to have that” but italian babies eat italian food, chinese babies eat chinese, and I make sure that its not spicy or anything.

How do I go about trying to change their minds on giving him this crap all the time?

There’s type 2 diabeties on both sides of the families and also obeasity so this is really important.

15 Responses »

  • BVZ said:


    If hes eating all that processed crap than he is ready for healthy, fresh food. I would just make something when he is there and give him a little bite. Surely his father will see that he will like it (all little kids like anything you give them) and let him have more. good luck

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  • browneyedgirl said:


    you need 2 call that show “honey we are killing the kids” hope to see you on the next episode

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  • [email protected] said:


    what your stepson is eating is kid food, that is completely normal, not always healthy but normal, a child’s brain need a certain amount of fat and sugar and yes carbs to develop properly. maybe you can start with healthy snacks like celery and peanut butter with raisins, or carrots and ranch dip, or yogurt made for kids trying to change things overnight is not wise for anyone involved. I have six children of my own and sometimes small victories taste sweeter and are savored longer that long drawn out battles so relax.

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  • JayneDoe said:


    it’s not your place to convience the two of them of anything. (i’m a step-mother too). the only thing you can do is voice your opinion to your partner… but he/she gets the final say! being a step-parent is a REALLY hard job. i always have to remind myself of my roll… and what my place in the family is. there are a couple of good books out there that i have read and would like to recommend:

    Idiot’s Guide to Stepparenting
    Stepmotherhood by Cherie Burns

    i do wish you the best of luck!

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  • rainofshadows20 said:


    I now it is hard some times beign a step parent. I also have a step son. My battles are not over food. But I also talk with my partner and his ex about how I feel. You got to give them respect but you also deserve that to. Just keep tryen and keep your head up. You have the heart and you care hopefully they will all come around. I would also say maybe make a healthy dish every night and some other things and have everyone havev at least one tablespoon to try it. I have done that with different things. Good luck to you.

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  • erica said:


    First of all every 2 year old kid eats those things….second of all some kids are really picky about what they eat and if that’s all he/she will eat I say let them…and thirdly you’re not the real parent so you should just stay out of it…..I’m a step-parent too and I would never tell the kids biological parents what they can and can’t give their own kids. But I do say that if the kid wants to eat what you are trying to give him/her then they should let him.
    Other than that you and some of these other people are going way overboard with this health food thing…..kids are kids ,let them be kids…let them eat what kids eat….all this whole grain bread and reduced fat peanut butter garbage is just crap….everyone had regular pb&J when they were kids and french fries and hot dogs and ect…. and we all turned out just fine….he’s only 2 years old for goodness sakes….stop with the health crap. He shouldn’t be on a diet already….you people have been watching entirely too much TV…especially if your talking about putting him on low carb diets and everything….that’s what adults do…not kids.

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  • sroyals86 said:


    im sure the parents dont eat that all the time, what makes them think thats all he wants. at 2 if its good enough for the parents its good enough for the child, just watch the spices you use, but you know that. he can eat what you eat, if that child continues to eat like that, he will turn out like my boyfriend, he is 25 and it is like pulling teeth to get him to eat a veggie other than green beans.

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  • John J said:


    Noone is ever too young for healthy food. My son, at one point, lived off of dried fruit (he wouldn’t eat fresh fruit, but thats a whole different story). If you get them eating fruits and vegitables when they are younger, they are more likely to eat them when they are older. If all they ever have is fried, they won’t want to eat food that isn’t fried. And don’t worry too much about spicy, some kids like that (I just wouldn’t recommend jalepenos or anything though)

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  • bobby_brenda_slone2002 said:


    have you tried telling her to talk to the babies doctor about the kinds of foods he is eating?

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  • bikerpjb said:


    Take a moment to explain — in a non-threatening, non-judgemental way — that you are trying to teach him healthier eating habits. (A child is never too young for that, by the way!) If the reaction seems negative, then just back off. How much time is he spending with them, anyway? If you teach a kid good eating habits at home, they will usually overcome the bad habits in someone else’s home. Who knows, maybe he’ll end up teaching them a thing or two. The most effective training you can give a child is POSITIVE reinforcement. Keep plenty of healthy treats on hand (at my house the kids could have fruit anytime they wanted and as much as they wanted, even before meals) and don’t keep junk food available. Make healthy foods fun too: cut veggies and fruits into fun shapes and/or make snack time fun when it’s healthy.

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  • Kiko said:


    kids eat kid food, it’s as simple as that. pb&j isn’t bad for you…the only thing that could be considered bad is the sugar in the jelly, but there isn’t that much in it. Hot dogs…..it’s meat, and bread, no harm there either. Fries….eh, not the best, but if not eaten all the time and with little salt, their fine too. I think you are just overreacting a bit. Yes, italians eat italian food….ect, but they don’t give their young ones eggplant parmasean and expect him to eat it all, they usually let them pick the foods they want, they give them kids foods that are in the grocery store. Yes, you should alway encourage your child to encourage to try new food, see what he/she likes, but if they don’t like it or if it is a inapropriate food to give them (judge from size and age, young kids usually eat/want simplier foods) don’t force things on them. You also need to give a little when it comes to relationships. If you want something then you need to give a little. Try working with him. Oh and the diabetes, both sides of my family have it heavily, but I grew up on the same foods and currently drink over a case of dr. pepper a week and do not have diabetes (neither does my sister who eats worse them me) so don’t worry too much, but you can always have him try new things, if he likes it, he’ll want to eat more, if not….well then you’ll have a hard time pushin stuff on him.

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  • suequek said:


    Try the veggies and dip trick, add salads to meals you fix at home. and fruit deserts and snacks.
    I am guessing that because he eats french fries and that sort of crap that he is already use to the dipping thing. You can cut up apples or pears or banannas and give him yogurt to dip them in!
    Maybe you could find a couple of books on diet and nutrition for children and have them laying arround. When you get asked about it just say you wanted to learn the right thing to do for Jr.! Dad will think it is sweet, and wont feel ike you are being pushy.
    When I finally got to be a part of my steps lives they were teens (long story, not our fault) and the only thing they would eat either had to be swimming in grease or from McDonalds!! It horrified my kids!lol Now they are both way over weight and have problems because of their diet! A Being a step-parent is hard, especialy because you want to do the right thing, but you don’t want to step on any toes and cause waves! Feel free to email me and I will try to share some of my sneak the healthy food in tips that I did when the girls were with us. Tte best one is try to eat at home when he is with you. Staying out of the fast food joints will force them to feed him what is cooked instead of ordering separate junk food for him.

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  • Mel said:


    I’ve been exactly where you are! It’s a difficult place to be! Especially considering the kid’s mother and her partner have been together since the initial seperation and I’m the new person walking into the equation trying to make my way.

    The first thing you need to do is differentiate between what’s healthy and unhealthy. A couple of the things you listed are perfectly acceptable foods for a 2 year old, BUT it all depends on how it’s prepared. A PB&J for example is heaven for a toddler, convenient for a parent but can be health food or trash depending on how it’s prepared. 100% natural jam (not jelly & I buy the no sugar added) low fat peanutbutter and whole grain bread is an excellent meal for a 2 year old. On the other hand, jelly, regular peanutbutter and white bread is not! Hotdogs are the same, my son LOVES them, so I purchase Turkey dogs, they’re still processed, but taste good, especially when I melt a slice of cheese on it and they’re better for him (he certainly doesn’t eat them every day though).

    Don’t concern yourself with his fat intake right now, he needs a decent amount of fat in his diet for brain growth. Obviously there is always too much! But too little is bad too. Good nutrition and balanced meals are far more importiant.

    As far as getting them to change their minds, I never could! I faught the fight for a year before I got sneaky about it. If you and your partner don’t have custody it might be a little harder than it was for me being married to the custodial parent, but try this! Take over the grocery shopping for the household! When you do the buying, you control what comes in the house! Don’t go crazy! Buy the same things they are used to, but read your lables! Like with the PB&J, theres usually a healthier alternative for just about anything you want. Moderation is a key too. Chicken fingers are ok…once in a while! Not every week!

    The most importiant thing you can do is set a good example! My husband and I have a son of our own who is also 2 and I am home with him all day. I eat healthy and he sees it. When we do go out to eat to a resturant where he has a choice between pizza or a salad, he would rather eat the broccoli off of my plate than the pizza on his own. Your partner will see this. As for his other parents, you will never be able to control them and fighting it will make it worse. My step kids mom went out of her way to give them all the junk food they wanted when she saw my efforts just for spite. Lead by example honey, it has more strength than you will ever know!

    I also want to address the people above telling you to mind your place as a step parent. Excuse me, but while I completely respect and honor what my husband wants and does for his children, when your in MY house eating at MY table, you follow MY rules! Don’t step on toes, but don’t take some kindof second class citizen seat when it comes to they way things work in your house!

    Sorry that was so long, but feel fre to message me if you want to! I’d be happy to share anything I can!

    (sorry for any typos, its hard to edit and the spell checker isnt working)

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  • bluefirewitch said:


    You haven’t confirmed your email address so I am forced to reply this way.

    I didn’t mean to insult you. I just meant that it didn’t seem that you knew much about Witchcraft. I mean asking for a banishment spell on the internet? You should know if you are so magickally inclined what a spell like that can do to a persons karmic energy.

    I have been Wiccan for 8 years. I know a great deal about cleaning up after the faux pah’s of inexperienced Witches. Reguardless of your hereditary gifts, if you dont know how to use them they can still cause you harm.

    As for your current question. I would suggest buying a children’s health food cookbook designed to get children to eat healthier foods.

    Its absurd to think that anyone is too young for healthy food. You are doing the right thing by expanding his pallet.

    Sorry Ihave seen too many dabblers get into trouble using magick before they have studied how to use their power reguardless of where it comes from. I’m not a Wiccan seperatist or anything. I have Pagan friends of all creeds.

    I got the impression from her that she had not used magick before. I didn’t want her to think that it was going to solve all her problems. I was simply looking out for her.

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  • todieisgain_121 said:


    Kids at two can eat just about anything. They are instilling very poor habits at a young age. If he can chew a chicken finger, then he can chew cooked carrots, or a banana. I don’t understand their logic???

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