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What would you do if YOU HAD NO OTHER CHOICE abortion or adoption?

4 January 2010 49 Responses

A Parent asks, What would you do if you found out you were pregnant but knew this child cannot survive living with you…. No questions needed.. YOU HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO USE ONE OF THESE OPTIONS WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE AND WHY?

49 Responses »

  • xAimee's Mummyx said:


    Abortion. I just wouldn’t be able to hold me child and then let her go.

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  • chefck26 said:


    I would give the baby up, so many families want children that can’t have them, why chose abortion when this is an option. Also, in some instances with abortion, you have trouble conceiving later in life and you might not be ready now but you might in 5 years.
    I am pro choice, but would prefer abortion be a last resort for someone, if they have another option it would help others.

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  • mameelynn said:


    For me there would only be one choice…. Adoption! If you didn’t want to get pregnant then you shouldn’t have had sex and/or you should have been using protection… I’m pro choice but to me the choice is to CHOSE what kind of protection to use or to Chose to run the risk of getting pregnant… Abortion is not a form of birth control!!! Don’t kill your baby just because you made some bad choices in your life.. that baby has a right to live and if you can’t give it the kind of life you know that it deserves then do the best and most unselfish thing you can give to your child… A mom and a dad!!!

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  • Sam H said:


    You got pregnant and now you have created a life.

    You owe this child the opportunity of a life now that you have created it.

    Abortions should only be used in extreme cases such as sexual assault or if pregnancy confirms child will be SEVERALY disbaled and will not have a good quality of life because of this.

    There are so so many loving couples out there who would love to have a family but who cannot for whatever reason.

    You should defo get the child adopted, you would be giving someone the one thing that they so desperately want.

    You owe the child a decent life

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  • kribbie said:


    People just don’t understand how traumatic abortion really is. It’s terrible to live with wondering how they would have turned out.
    I regret it to this day, knowing I could have blessed another family with such a great gift instead of being afraid and making the choice I thought would be best at the time.
    I am pro choice, but it comes at a price, remember that.

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  • ♥Faith's Mummy TTC # 2!♥ said:


    Adoption, because I am pro life.

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  • Krista W said:


    I thoroughly believe that every child has the right to live. So many people can not have kids and unless you have been through the pain, you can never comprehend. Its something like 6 weeks when your baby’s heart starts beating and I don’t understand how anybody could just throw that all away.
    Having said that, it will be the hardest thing you will ever have to go through in your life. I wish you the best of luck. You have already made a very brave step in acknowledging that you can’t raise this child.
    My thoughts are with you.

    Edit: I love how all the people that wouldn’t flinch and abort their own child keep bashing people who say it’s wrong. Unless you are raped, or have a severly disabled child, I don’t see why you should have the right. You KNOW the consequences of sex. Don’t have sex if you don’t want to raise a child. There are other ways…masturbation, mutual masturbation etc etc. The selfless thing to do is to give that child a chance. There are hundreds of people out there who have been adopted and have had a wonderful life. Think of all the people who have had to have donor sperm etc, they are not really their father’s children are they? They don’t live any differently and an adoption is a priceless gift you could give to a loving couple as well as your child. Thumbs down me all you want people, the facts are there and I’m not going to stop having morals just because you can’t face them. If you don’t want a child, don’t have sex and don’t take out your mistakes on another human being.

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  • chielu c said:


    The question should be would a woman choose pregnancy or abortion. No woman can know if she will keep her child or surrender it to strangers until after the child is born, and even then it can take months for her to truly know if she and/or the father have the means to parent their child.

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  • Anha S said:


    abortion, hands down. Having lived adoption, have no desire to force my offspring into it.

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  • red elephants said:


    there is absolutely no question. adoption. i’d rather give my child the chance at life with another family then to end their life. i know many more happy adoptees than unhappy. i’d also hope that at some point in the future my child would find me. with abortion there is no possible chance of that.

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  • gemimapuddleduck18 said:


    I would have to opt for adoption for two reasons. First and foremost, the baby has a right to life, and secondly, you may not be able to care for your baby, but you can give it life and give a very precious gift to someone who is desperate to love and nurture a child, but unable to conceive.

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  • Lucinda L said:


    Abortion (as early as possible). I couldn’t see my baby then get it taken away from me, it’s easier to pretend it never happened with an abortion.

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  • Lori A said:


    Abortion does not carry as much pain for me as adoption did. Try wondering where your child is, whether they are being fed or treated nice, if they’re still alive.

    I would choose abortion.

    ETA: No Kristy I’m not joking. You have a bag full of opinions, i have had to make those very real decisions. After you have done what I have, I will give you the benefit of having a voice on the subject. Until then your just another one of those “OH I WOULD NEVER” people. One day that will bite you right in the a**. Maybe not through your own actions, but through someone you love. At that point in time try really hard not to think of me.

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  • kateiskate said:


    If I had an abortion, I’d have closure and my embryo would never have to develop into a human being to have to experience the pain of being unwanted by me.

    Seems better for both of us that way to me.

    eta: I just wanted to add that I personally find it selfish to bring a child to term because of your personal religious beliefs in the instance you will turn around and abandon it and leave it with a lifetime of pain and emotional turmoil. Way to force your religious views on others.

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  • Philippa said:


    Abortion hands down even though I am pro life. I live every day with being coerced into surrendering and I love my son dearly. I am thankful I have my son in my life but I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy to go through what I have and will continually live through till the day I die.

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  • 23 year old texas female married said:


    Abortion because adoption would literally kill me.

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  • Carol c said:


    I would never, ever place a child for adoption after having lost my only child that way. You live a life constantly wondering if your child is alive and well and knowing that he will always probably wonder why his first mother gave him up. What was wrong with him?

    At least with abortion there is closure and you can eventually get on with your life. Until you know where and how your child is -life is a living hell.

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  • allchildrenareangels said:


    It would be really hard but, I guess I would have to go with adoption. I just couldn’t kill a baby. I couldn’t live with myself knowing I killed a baby.

    Love,
    Michelle

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  • C Wood said:


    NO answer given you by any woman here will be valid.
    Why?
    Because, until it comes down to the wire, any woman would swing back and forth and noone knows ahead of time what her final decision would actually be. While the women may give you an answer, your question is not their current reality, and in the real situation, they might well do the opposite of what they think right now that they would do. That’s because this is such a hard decision, and depends on what the emotional upheavals are during such a decision, and what kind of support system the woman has.
    cw

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  • Kristy said:


    Wow, the truth comes out… what ever happened to doing waht’s best for the child? What SELFISH people there are in here:

    “I’d just feel relieved [after having an abortion] and then go about my life”

    “Abortion because adoption would literally kill me.”

    “If I had an abortion, I’d have closure”

    “I couldn’t see my baby then get it taken away from me, it’s easier to pretend it never happened with an abortion.”

    “I would do whatever the hell I felt like”

    “I just wouldn’t be able to hold me child and then let her go.”

    My personal favorite pro-abortion comments (adoption vs. abortion) are here:

    “You live a life constantly wondering if your child is alive”

    “Try wondering where your child is, whether they are being fed or treated nice, if they’re still alive.” Alive? You’re joking, right?

    ************
    Personally, since I don’t believe in murder, I would choose ADOPTION, if I 100% could not care for my child and had nobody to help support me to be a parent for my child.
    ___________
    ETA: Just wondering… would you be in pain if you were torn apart limb by limb?

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  • Hizbabygirl4life said:


    I would give the baby up 4 adoption even though I know it would probably hurt me. There are plenty of good family’s that want children and can not have them. I think it would make me feel a little better if I knew that I was making them happy.

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  • Yarr said:


    I’d choose abortion. But I’d never want to be pregnant so I’d always choose abortion (if my BC failed). I doubt I’d be sorry about it because I don’t consider a blob of cells a baby and I already thought it out and decided ahead of time that is what I’d do. I read stories from people who got abortions and weren’t sorry about it on the site below, I’m 99.9% sure I’d just feel relieved and then go about my life like they did.

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  • magic pointe shoes said:


    Suicide. If the child can survive nine months in utero with me, than it’s enough time to come up with a plan and get my stuff together to parent. If it is indeed as dire as you say where my child couldn’t survive with me, than my life is not worth living.

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  • cantstopLinnyG said:


    Been there, done that, and I had an abortion. For several reasons_

    1. Because I was adopted. I knew the pain of missing my first Mom and how her decision to relinquish me had affected my entire life. I would NEVER do that to another child.

    2. Because it is my right, given to me by the Supreme Court of the United States.

    3. Because it is not my responsibility as a fertile woman to be a baby factory to an infertile woman.

    4. Because abortion has nothing to do with adoption. Abortion is the choice of ending a pregnancy. You cannot adopt a mass of tissue. Adoption is the choice not to parent. Women who chose to have abortions would never consider adoption, so the point is usually mute.

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  • Rilan said:


    Adoption; I’m pro-choice for other women but could not personally have an abortion. I’m adopted and know that my biological mother had this same choice; adoption or abortion. I want to give my baby a good life, even if thats not with me. :)

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  • DevonChaos said:


    Abort. I am not going to put any more adoptee’s out there. There are too many as it is.

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  • Jennifer L said:


    I can’t imagine any situation where I would not find a way, moving heaven or earth, to parent my child. I was in a teenage crisis pregnancy before. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

    But since this is a hypothetical question, I’ll just roll with it.

    Other than the most extreme, dire and life threatening circumstances, I would never, never have an abortion.

    I’m only speaking about how -I- would feel if I had an abortion. I would think that I murdered my child. I could not live with that. Some people here say that they had an abortion and moved on with it, that’s fine. I know there’s no way I could do that.

    ETA: Hmmm…. So, if a “pro-choice” person shows dislike (in this case, a TD) because someone in a crisis pregnancy would make a choice NOT to have an abortion because of their personal feelings on the subject, can they still call themselves “pro choice”? After all, aren’t you supposed to be supporting a woman’s rights to look at the facts and examine her own heart and make up her own mind?

    Or are you only pro choice when it’s a choice YOU would have made?

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  • Independ"ant" said:


    “knew this child cannot survive living with you”

    Knowing or not knowing aside…….if I didn’t want to be pregnant…..Abortion.

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  • Mimi M said:


    I am pro choice. It would also depend on the situation. But I would probably say abortion because there are many many kids that are looking for homes.

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  • AdoreHim said:


    As I read these posts I cannot help but cry. Women that say that with abortion you can pretend the baby never existed= believe you me, that does not happen. Women say that adoption is worse, because of many reasons. Taking the life of a child, adds to pain to the already difficult situation. I counseled women for over 10 years, and I can tell you those that have had abortions, realized too late that you can live the rest of your life with guilt and shame. Granted it is hard to place a child for adoption. I know how hard, meeting both of my adopted children’s birth moms. But as they both said- “as hard as this is, I could never live with myself if I took their lives”. A fetus is a baby, just smaller. A fetus at the age of 3 weeks after conception has a beating heart. A woman can rationalize all they want too, but abortion is not something that a lot of people ever get over.

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  • PhilM said:


    Why would I only have one of these two options? Which would you rather do if you had no other choice: commit suicide or commit homicide? Your question boils down to the same.

    I wouldn’t do either. If you’re saying I have to pick one of those, and only those, I would have an abortion rather than put my child through adoption.

    Why? Because I’ve been through adoption as a child, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else.

    But frankly, I would move hell and high water to keep my child. Anyone who wanted my child would have to pry him or her from my cold, dead hands. Which is why I cannot imagine ever being in a situation like the one you imagine.

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  • Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP said:


    Abortion, there is no way in hell that I would give one of my children away to be raised by strangers and for them to live the hell that so many adoptee’s have experienced

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  • Flying Monkey #073177 said:


    SUCK THE LITTLE EFFER DOWN THE MEDICAL WASTE TUBE!

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  • maybe said:


    I’d start looking at bridges…..

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  • Heather B said:


    If those were the only two choices, I’d abort myself

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  • ♥ kay. said:


    I would give the baby to my mother so I could be a part of the child’s life. My mother would let me live with her as long as I take care of my own child.

    In this case, a life wouldn’t be terminated or be with strangers.

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  • lemon x3 said:


    Abortion.

    :S

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  • lulu said:


    Abortion.
    I’d rather not pop out a watermelon at this age thanks

    :)

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  • Possum said:


    Abortion.

    I would never put a child through being separated from me.
    I went through it.
    It’s a cruel life to have to live.
    Babies want their mummies.

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  • lalalaツ said:


    adoption.
    i want to give the child a chance to live.

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  • LaraSue said:


    Adoption.
    I don’t believe in abortion for myself. But I don’t believe in telling someone else they can’t have one.
    But for me…..my choice would be adoption.

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  • Hermione said:


    What an awful awful choice – I think both of them would kill me. I suppose sitting here I’d say abortion but both options would haunt me for the rest of my life and I’d probably never get over either of them – its the stuff of nightmares. Very similar to Sophie’s Choice.

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  • itsoktolikeMcFLY said:


    well it depends, if the pregnancy was as a result of rape then abortion but otherwise adoption.

    sometimes were born into this world to help teach people lessons in life.

    xxx

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  • brittany691 said:


    Adoption, do not kill a baby becuase of a mistake you made. Its not the babys fault and he or she will realize it was best when their grown and you will feel very proud of yourself.

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  • Natalie said:


    abortion, I couldn’t have a child and then hand it over to someone else, it would be too hard

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  • Laurel J said:


    I’d abort. Speaking only for myself, I couldn’t live with myself if I gave up my own child because I know how it feels to be given away.

    Babies and children are not aborted, embryos are. Something too undeveloped to feel pain is not murdered when it is destroyed and it has no “right” to live that overrides a woman’s choice whether or not to start a family. Eggs are not chickens, acorns are not oak trees, and I don’t owe anyone a baby just because they want one badly.

    And yes, many women get over abortions and get right on with their lives; I did. “Post-abortion syndrome” is a lie. The “breast cancer link” is a lie. The “you’ll never get pregnant again” lie is guess what, a lie. Different women react to different situations in different ways, so anyone who tells you abortion always makes a woman feel X is full of feces.

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  • Lindsay said:


    I can’t wait for the day that abortion is no longer as controversial of an issue as it is now. It makes me angry that people choose to be so ignorant.

    At this point, I would have an abortion, which absolutely is a way of taking responsibility for one’s actions. ‘Slutty’ women that don’t use any type of protection are not the only one’s that seek out abortions, even so, sex isn’t a crime. I do not think it would be a selfish choice for me because I would be considering the life that I would be giving to that possible child, as well as how it would affect everyone else in my life. I could provide much better for one in the future where I actually could take care of it properly. And adoption is not an alternative to an unwanted pregnancy. I couldn’t live with the guilt of giving my kid away and wondering about him/her forever. There really is no harm done with an early abortion, no pain considering it would be before the brain is developed enough to receive and send pain signals. I wouldn’t be sorry either. http://www.imnotsorry.net/ It is a woman’s right to choose (abortion, adoption, parenting), keep your judgments to yourself!
    BTW Great answer Laurel J

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  • red-haired gypsy said:


    i chose adoption and after 18yrs.we are in contact still.My birthson is autistic,adhd/odd.I know i made the right choice.I do not judge thos that choose different options.i am 35,and have an 8 yr.old son that is adhd/icd.And that at 16 with no one to help and i do mean no mom and no dad there.THere’s an issue eh!

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  • Peachy said:


    I was adopted and am SO GLAD that my birth mother made the decision to NOT kill me for the sake of convenience. My adoptive parents are wonderful and I could never imagine killing my child to prevent inconveniencing myself.

    Abortion is always about selfishness.
    Screen the adoptive parents yourself…interview them and get to know them, they’ll be happy to have you as involved as you want so that you’re sure that the baby should go to them.

    Abortion doesn’t stop you from becoming a mother…it just makes you the mother of a dead child…that YOU killed.

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