I need help getting information on what to do with my defiant teenage sister. She is tearing my mom apart.?
A Parent asks, My sister is 13 and she is getting out of control. My mom and step-father have given up on trying to get her help because nothing they’ve done has worked. However, I’m NOT going to give up on her. She is lying, sneaking out, yelling at our parents, disobeying them, and being violent towards my brother whom is 14, but is a special needs child. She doesn’t respect our parents in the least bit and laughs at them when she is told to do something. I have been visiting them for the past week and I have been close to smaking her across the face numerous times, but have held back hoping that a “talk” will work better, but I’m not sure anymore. I’ve looked at teen boot camps, but I need to know if anyone has any other idea’s that are not too pricey. My parents are working to jobs a piece to keep the family together, so they don’t exactly have a bunch of cash handy. Please, if anyone has any help, I’d greatly appriciate it! Thanks!!
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hmmmm i have friends like this unfortunetly i used to be like that to (and just to my mom my dad passed away) R.I.P anyways i grew out of it and i started feeling bad for my birth mother who carried me for nine months and waited for me like forever and gave me milk and everything there are 2 ways todo this smack her across the face and make her feel every1′s pain orrrrrrrrrrrr make her feel guilty like in front of her go to ur parent and hug them and say “im going out guys and fake cry and say i love u guys sooo much and i appriciate every minute with u guys” but she’ll probably say “kiss-up” right back @cha lol oh well we tried=D
maybe you could consult the special needs counselor at her school for outside help. short of her short-circuiting and going to jail, your description doesn’t sound like she will make a turn around and behave. support is key, it’s difficult, I’ve been there. but your sister needs help and support to change her ways. I’m sure it’s difficult for you, but it is difficult for her also. try and be strong for her. good luck to you.
I am not being mean by saying this, but if short on cash it might help. Call the Maury show. Send her to boot camp. That will straighten her up.
Some Sheriff departments, police stations, juvenile detention centers, and even foster care centers offer, “Scared Straight” programs.
They take “at risk” kids into prison for a few days or a week. During that time, short of being beat up, they experience life “inside”. They get to see how life will turn out if they don’t straighten up.
Call these places and see if anything like that is available where you live.
Also, counseling and therapy can be free, depending on income and where you live. Contact the “Department of Family Services”, or whatever it’s called where you are. They will have valuable resourses for you and your sister.
Don’t give up.
This is a difficult time in her life. She needs someone “on her side”.
And, sometimes, “tough love” is the best thing for them. Stop covering for her and let her take the consequences of her actions.
Good luck
Katie I’m sorry you going true this trying time .
But you the sister ,shes not going to listen to you ,your mother fail her .
it starts from diapers ,how in the world your mother lost control ,i have a 13 yr old daughter ,not to blow my pipe ,but i know everything she doe’s and with who ,and guess what its not much ,when she says she wants to stay home ,that’s when she join us ,i drag her A.S.S. in family vacation’s .
parents need to quit being their children’s best friends ,and start parenting ,they have plenty of best friends .
Smack her mouth ,she would think twice to cuss at anyone ,if you guys don’t take control ,the law will ,which is better?
you know that slapping thing coulda worked…….
I had a 13 year old brother who did the same stuff.
I started thinking, maybe his mom needs to take some control and slap him for this. So I told her that, and she did. It resulted in him feeling violated and out of control. Thats a bad combination for ANYONE.
Katie, your sister needs to feel loved. Maybe the special needs child is taking up a lot of attention from your parents. Instead of stepping in and taking their side, try to see her point of view also.
I started taking my brother with me places, the mall, the arcade, the movies, buying him stuff…making sure he knew he was very loved. It seems to have helped a lot. His grades have since improved and he treats his mom respectfully. While you’re out just explain to her that someday she will have her own house and be in control of her life, but right now she needs to respect her parents and their rules.
Be her friend. You are her sister, show it. A sister’s bond is better than any other, and right now you need to make her know she has a confident and friend in you. It will relieve her of stress. Allow her to cry with you, and sympathize.
Trust me, tough love isn’t always the answer.
Your sister is not at fault, even though she is the on doing the damage. This problem started years ago, it just didn’t happen overnight. To correct this problem has to start with her parents. She has been left alone for to long, to often. She has no respect for authority because she has had no one in her life to spend time with her when she was younger. A problem child like that needs parents in her life, it’s not to late, but it will be hard to do. She needs love and care. Someone who loves her. When she was little, she didn’t get any respect, therefore she feels that she don’t need to give respect. There was no adult supervision in her most important years of her life. The boot camp trip is totally the wrong way to go. She needs a big sister, better yet parents who can give her what she is missing.
I hope I have answered your question.
Wow. That sucks. She needs serious disapline immediantly. Boot camp can be you B-Z plans, but try to talk to her.
Good luck!
Have you tried talking to her?It sounds like your parents need to dicipiline her more than what they do.Your parents are the key answer and maybe you could try family counselling.
She sounds like a little snot that does not appreciate anything and feels entitled to everything. I would take everything away from her except for her bare needs. I mean, leave her with only necessary clothes, a mattress and sheets, food and thats it. Take the door off her room and no phone, TV games computer or anything until she can start earning these things that were GIVEN to her by your parents. She will throw a fit, but they need to tough it out until she realizes what she needs to do to be a responsible member of the family. With responsibility come privledges
I’m not sure how old you are, but talk to your parents. Do they have insurance? Many insurances cover the cost of counseling. Perhaps your sister has some issues she needs worked out. If your sister is violent toward your brother, the local social services agency can get involved, as well as the local police. She could spend time in Juvenile Detention for her actions. I would contact your local sheriff department or social services and ask what types of programs are available for troubled teens? Sometimes tough love is the only kind that will get through.
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