Divorce and step-parents?
A Parent asks, My husband and I are going through a rough time right now, we always argue about the same 2 things. One of those is my step daughter. She is in her mid 20′s and I have issues with her coming to our house. She never pre arranges or asks if it’s ok to come just sends a text message saying she will be here in an hr. She then is here and it’s tense as I don’t like her and can find no endearing qualities. Up until this week end I got on really well with my step son. While she is here it’s all about her and you can’t get the conversation off of her…even though it was a bit of time to talk about a recent family engagement. She tries to subtly get money out of her dad…ie I have no money to go out this week end and I really want to go out…luckily he doesn’t do subtle, he never picks up on it. We don’t have money to give her and I wouldn’t be happy if he did…I know it’s his daughter but she works and should be supporting herself. My main question is this…if we do divorce what should I do about my son. This man has helped me raise him since he was a baby. My son calls him Daddy and always has, it’s the only daddy he has ever known. I don’t want the step daughter anywhere near my son…she is disrespectful to me and he then starts it. Do I sacrifice my son’s relationship with his “Daddy” or what? Yes I should be the bigger person and ‘get over it’ and her treatment of me, but it’s hard when all she makes comments about her family when her parents were still together all the time. It does take a toll on you after a while and this has been going on for over 12 yrs…I can’t do it anymore. If she wasn’t in the picture we wouldn’t have the problem.
I have no problem with my husband wanting a relationship with his daughter. I have told him repeatedly to arrange to either meet her at her house or somewhere else. I just don’t want her here. Some will think I’m selfish and they are entitled to their opinion…but if it’s something you haven’t been through it is hard to understand.
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This is one of those questions you have to answer yourself. You can;t make your husband choose between his daughter and you that isn’t fair. However you do have a right to sit him down and talk to him. How old is your son is he old enough to understand what is going on. My fiance and I have the same problem. His daughter has stole from me and walked on me like a door mat and i am really close to leaving. It is hard to come in as a step parent. Good luck.
ha, so selfish you dont want his daughter to come near your husband but want a daddy for your son……..ur husband is a super person who, inspite of your indifference towards his daughter, takes care of ur son as his own…..
First off you should not have to “get over it”!!!!! She is a horrible person to you and she should respect you. I think you need to sit down with your husband to actually tell him how she treats you. If you already have, then sit down with him and her and say you dont like it, and you either dont want her to come over till she stops acting that way twords you or that she changes.
You shouldnt have to give up your marriage because of a bratty little girl who is trying with all her might to get rid of you. She seems to be on the road of trying to get rid of you because you arent her real mother, but you are a mother to her. You may not be her bio but you are married to her father so she should like it or not come over anymore.
I think you need to set some rules in your house when she comes over. Like no asking for money. She doesnt live with you anymore so you dont have to finance her every move. If she is very rude to you then she gets kicked out.
If your husband doesn’t like it then remind him that she doesnt treat him like that and you dont want your son to grow up acting like that to you or his father. Remind him that younger children are very impressionable, and you dont want him picking up those traits.
But, she may have some anger twords you by the way you met your hubby, or because she has underlying issues with her mother. Maybe you should all get togeather for therapy sessions, and just tell her its for your son, this can get her to go then you can talk about how she acts twords you
Good Luck, Sorry so long
That is a tough question. Parents will always take the child’s side where step parents are concerned. Is there anyway you could leave the house and take your son when she comes over? I know that you should not have leave because its your house but it may send a message that your not happy about her coming over. I have no idea what to say next so I wish you the best however this works out for you.
I hate step children; I have inherited a couple of my own. They are worst then vampires, blood suckers who are selfish and think they can come in your home, that you pay with your own money, and change all the rules and cause relationship problems for you, your spouse and other children. No matter how much of a hore their mother truly is, she is always the best and they will always try to break every relationship between their father and other women. Can’t stand them, call me selfish or whatever you wish, I really don’t give a shit. You have no idea what I have been through with the son’s of a bitch.
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