what rights do grandparents have over parent for visitation? They have just shown up!?
A Parent asks, I dont know how to keep it short and sweet so i will just tell it all.
When my son was i was nice enough to let his grandparents know they had a grandson, the only time they seen him was when they weren’t busy which was late at night or when i went out of my way to take him to them. Things fell apart when i asked them if they would like to have him fortnightly for a night or day….what ever suited them and they replyed with a “we can’t arrange anything like that because we dont know if we could be busy” and that was the last contact we had.
Now nearly 5yrs on they have decided they want to be back in his life, at this time i have made a home and a family for us and my son has a step father who loves him like his own and supports us and also has a little sister. At the moment I am in the process of house hunting, looking for a job, keeping my health under control and also my partners health under control. My partner works 6days a week and we have only the one car.
Anyways grandparents and I have been emailing and they want to see him asap, i said well when i can get the transport to get to a shopping or somewhere public then i will contact them and we can meet up, they wanted it to take place at either homes because they look after their two other grandsons on the weekends so I said well another time when I can make the arrangements and they can meet up, they did not like that. Now i have an email threating to take legal action because I won’t do things their way and when they can.
Am I wrong? I thought I was right into saying I dont want these meet ups to take place in either homes….1. he doesn’t know them and 2. our home is my childrens safe place. I cant let strangers making them feel unsafe in there own home.
What can I do? I’m not refusing them the visits I’m asking them to wait till we are settled and our lifes aint so hectic, Ive told them after everything is done then the visits can be weekly if they want but has to be saturdays because sundays are our time together and that they can’t just disappear again like they did.
What can I do?
Also we had bumped into his grandmother in the shopping mall 2weeks ago and my son was scared and wanted to leave, what rights do I have if my son feels that way again and they don’t want him leave and threaten to take legal action again?
I know this family and they are use to having things their way or its court.
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If you are the custodial parent, you can tell them to pound sand.
grandparents have no rights of visitation unless they are granted by the custodial parent(s.)
Keep those emails as you may need them in court. Grandparents of a child do have some rights to see the children however, they don’t get to demand anything. It is up to you when and for how long and even if they see the children. They may take you to court and you will bring a lawyer and your emails and evidence of their bad behavior and you won’t have a problem.
I am concerned that you said your son was scared upon seeing his grandmother by chance. They only way he can be scared is if you have been talking about them in a negative way. You are not doing your children any good by planting this stuff in their heads. I can understand that you would be angry because they weren’t interested in your kids but don’t take that out on the kids. Making them afraid does no good for anyone and only harm to your kids. Putting this stuff in your kids heads will only do you harm if you go to court.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Be reasonable. Be careful.
Actually, grandparents DO have rights to see their grandchildren, but in a situation such as yours,in order to exercise that right, they would have to go to Court! I am assuming the father of the child and you were not married. (I am assuming they are the parents of the father, not yours!) So, where is HE now!? You have never mentioned his existence!! I am wondering if HE is the reason the grandparents are finally showing some interest in their grandson!!! Is HE the father of those other grandchildren too? Is HE the one who really wants to see his son?
OK!!! Remember, where ever HE is, as the kids father, HE has a perfect right to see the child, but not willy nilly like you have been doing with the Grandparents. I have no idea WHY you are e-mailing them at all. It seems to me, by you doing that, you are giving them a voice and a doorway into your life! If I were you, I would quit answering the e-mails, change your e-mail address so you won’t have to deal with them. Let the Grandparents come to YOU on YOUR turf!!! You are not obligated to plan your life around them OR their wishes. If they give you a hard time, just tell them, to go to Court and let them spend their money! OH! one more question! Is the father supporting your child?? If he isn’t, you can bring that up in Court! You might as well kill two birds with one stone! It sounds to me these guys are control freaks, and you would do yourself a favour, when you find another place to live, is NOT tell them!!! I will bet, if it’s going to cost them money, they will make a hasty retreat!
I was with Judith up until the end of the first paragraph. Your son could very well be acting scared for a variety of reasons, including the fact that he hasnt seen her in about 5 yrs.
They may try to take you to court, but you have all those emails of proof that you are not holding back visitation, only determining the conditions, which you have every right to do. If there are any further emails, I suggest you be as clear (and polite) as you can be. Say that you are more than willing to have them visit their grandson, but since they have not been in his life for such a long period and things are very hectic for you at this point, you would like to make arrangements a good time ahead as it is very inconvenient to drop things at a minutes notice to go for a visit. So long as you constantly make the offer for visits in the emails, taking you to court is going to be a waste of their time, and yours.
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