Dos anyone Else feel that adoption is not the answer for them after ttc?
11 May 2010 4 Responses
A Parent asks,I am wondering weather i am the only one who feels that adoption is not for them? I have this maternal instinct that i would only be mentally able to carry my own child not adopt. I feel that i would not be able to love the child like my own. I dont know weather i should feel like this or weather i am a bad person?
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Adoption isn’t for everyone. I don’t think you should feel like a bad person – I think you’re being responsible by doing what’s best for you and your family. While adoption is a wonderful thing, wanting your own children doesn’t make you a bad person. Good luck.
heya hunni
i felt the same,
my fiance and i were told his sperm were bascially useless, we were told we wouldnt concieve naturally and would probably need ivf.
i knew that ivf doesnt have a and definate success rate but adoption just was never an option, i felt awful thinking it but its better to be honest with yourself than go down that road knowing its not what u really want.
i wanted to carry my own child, and my fiance didnt liek the idea of a sperm doner (to be honest niether did i)
theres no right or wrong way to feel hun, i dnt know whats causing ur ttc probs hun so i cant advise on that x
i wish u all the best xxx
btw my baby was concieved naturally whilst we were waiting for our first ivf consultation – miracles do happen xxx
You are not a bad person. You want to carry your baby that you made with you partner out of love and have your own child.
Its great that you have this maternal instinct.
I personally really want a baby with my hubby but if we have discussed adoption as an option if that is our only choice.
You seem like a person with a lot of love to give and i am sure that if your only option was to adopt then you could do it.
But you and your partner know what will make you happy.
Don’t beat yourself up! Adoption is not an option for some people and thats ok!
Adoption is not for everyone. Personally My husband & I ttc (naturally) for 2 years and then decided to adopt. We were nervous but felt there were children out there who needed loving parents & we wanted so badly to be able to love & raise a child. I wasn’t sure about the rest. The moment we saw her for the first time we were in love! Guess what happened next…I was pregnant lol. We now have 2 wonderful children & would love to follow up with another adoption and another pregnancy God willing!
So in my experience I do love my adopted child as much as my own. I do miss the experience of carrying her for 9 months, but I love her no less because of that. She is ours! I truly believe God’s plan for our lives for was to adopt her & without the infertility we would have never gotten the chance.
You are not a bad person. Follow your heart & best of luck!
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